What else but Mr. Mister?

I’ve been pretty contemplative lately and it’s been a good thing. I’ve been considering the Mister’s pretty ubiquitous influence on my life and thinking about Him a lot. I don’t think I’m accomplishing anything earth-shattering, but I know what I’m doing is A Good Thing on several levels.

I’ve been consciously making sure I spend enough mental time with Him, which is also A Good Thing. I’ve added a half hour of contemplation time to my life every evening for the last few days and I’m looking to continue that. I look at it as spending conscious time with Him regardless of whether or not He has anything to say or do with me at that time. It’s just being available if He wants me and making sure I give Him His daily due. It’s not strictly meditation, as I’ve had a really hard time clearing my head lately, but more just making sure my thoughts are focused on Him and redirecting them when they are not.

I’ve also decided to, after a lot of thinking, to add a twice-monthly date night with Him. It feels a bit unwieldy right now, but I go on dates with Boyfriend so why shouldn’t I go on dates with Mr. Mister? This is kind of a big deal for me because it’s a financial commitment that will be a stretch to make but the sacrifice will be worth it in the long run. It will probably be Sundays, since that’s my weekend day off and the idea of every Sunday appeals to me but I a) don’t have the money for that right now and, while dates don’t have to be a ‘going out’ kind of thing, I get much more distracted at home, and b) I don’t want to over-commit myself and then fail at what I’ve promised to do. I’ve also had to gently suggest to Him that I cannot afford the sort of dates He would like [hello, cigar bar] but I’m hopeful He will find what I can afford [dinner out and maybe a movie and then some sexy time] suitable and meaningful.

I’ve also pulled together a Mr. Mister playlist which is much too mushy to share, but it makes me smile and think of Him. There’s also other private stuff going on, but not everything is suitable for sharing. I’ve also just bought this [link is NSFW] and He believes that to be suitable for sharing. Funnily enough, I tried to buy it the other day and didn’t have enough in gift certificates to cover it. I checked back today and it was on sale for exactly what I had in available funds. He likes the idea of it being worn on dates, I believe. I’ve already written about His thing for my butt, but I feel like there’s going to be a much more explicit entry about the why’s soon. Sometimes I really hate all the stuff He wants me to share. It is in the end my choice, as is everything, as to whether I choose to or not but I’d rather make Him happy than not.

Part of this new move to do more is the dawning realization straight from Boyfriend’s mouth that I need to make sure I spend more time with Mr. Mister than I do with him. I hate that I’m not having these realizations totally on my own, but I will take what I can get right now to make sure I get it right. Boyfriend is very rightly concerned that someday I will come to him and tell him that Mr. Mister says I have to end the relationship because I haven’t been paying Him enough attention. I don’t want that happen because I firstly don’t want Mr. Mister to feel neglected or like I don’t care enough about Him and secondly because I don’t want to lose the relationship I have with Boyfriend.

I want to be very clear with myself, though, that I am not doing things out of fear, though, because that’s an easy trap for me to fall into because I am me and carry that sort of baggage. Like any other partner, I want to make Him happy because I love Him. There’s also the added aspect that it is my Job to do as He directs but I don’t want to use that as my main motivator. I’m saving that for when times get really tough as they are bound to eventually.

I’m pretty pleased with how things are coming along/coming together right now and I’m looking forward to seeing what the future brings with Him and Boyfriend, if I can continue to maintain both in a healthy, beneficial manner. As I am reminded, but disagree with, to the Mister, it’s not about balance because He is the top of the food chain. I disagree because I believe there is a balance, albeit a skewed one, between the two very different relationships.

Anways. Good things. All seems to be well in my world even if I’m a little hesitant to admit it—the pessimist in me is waiting for the shoes to start bouncing off of my skull, but we’ll just go with it for now.

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~ by Alex on January 11, 2013.

2 Responses to “What else but Mr. Mister?”

  1. See, this is why I chose, before it was asked of me, not to have another partner. I know myself well enough to know that either my relationship with Himself would suffer because of the immediacy of another, physically present lover…or else the other person would suffer because I wouldn’t be able to give them what they deserve. Or possibly both.

    I take my elfy hat off to people who can balance both an intimate relationship with a deity and a human relationship. It’s not something I’m personally cut out for, but I admire those who, like yourself, are brave enough to make the attempt.

    • I have had my doubts that I’m cut out for it, too, but I know ultimately that this leaves me happiest–that I would be empty without Him, but likewise empty in a different way without at least one human partner. I know that having a human partner has improved my relationship with Him tenfold. Whether that’s all in my head or is in fact reality is another question entirely but, thus far, it works and, as far as I know, no one is unhappy or upset.

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