It was a year ago yesterday, on St. George’s feast day, that I sat down and gave Ogou a tiny feast. I was between a rock and a hard place in preparing for kanzo and I knew I was in trouble, but I also knew that if I didn’t get in the djevo things were going to get exponentially worse. My spirits had already told me to leave the job I had that had advanced my career by leaps and bounds, but I hadn’t agreed to yet.

I sat with Ogou and told him that I would do whatever it took and whatever he told me to do to get in the djevo, including leaving my job even if there wasn’t another one available immediately. I told him that I knew how badly I needed kanzo and that I hadn’t always listened to him, but I was listening then and that I needed his help. I knew I was putting myself in a even more precarious predicament and Ogou delivered–he handed me the matches and I burned my life down to follow him into the djevo. In return, he and my other spirits got me there and valued the sacrifices I made to save my life and my head.

Just before I went into the djevo, Ogou stood in front of me and told me that if I was going to truly walk with him, I had to be a different person. I know what he meant, and I think about that every day. I don’t work hard enough and have a propensity to be lazy, and so it is a regular prayer of mine that I keep the reality of the djevo, my sacrifice to get there, and the conditions of my reprieve from what was coming for me at the front of my head. My spirits did for me what I could not do for myself, and so my gratitude goes to their feet every day that they give me breath and strength to stand up. No one can prepare you for the djevo or what it will do to you, but it has the opportunity to be life-changing if only you do the work that the spirits lay at your feet.

Ogou took me at my word, and he got me in there, literally beating my butt in the door. I am better for all of it, and so grateful every damn day.

Si li pral genyen lagè a chemen se Ogou ap jwenn…


~ by Alex on April 24, 2017.

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